College Food Tips

Every college is different. But one thing remains the same. The food is less than ideal. Even though half of the people working in a college cafeteria may be twice as old as your grandma, doesn’t mean they can cook as good, much less twice as good. Here are some
There are a few tips people must observe to make the most of their culinary studies while attending college.

Food must be eaten in order of taste. Eat the worst stuff first so that you fill up on it, and then savor the flavor of the better stuff, which will also leave the best after taste and end your dining on a positive note.

Nine times out of ten, mystery ice cream is better than mystery meat. Mystery brand has been around since the days of elementary school, it’s nothing new. (please note some of the mystery products may be left-overs from your grade school cafeteria)

Plan to eat off campus during culture week. Just trust me on this one.

If you ask what it is, and the person says, “just take it.” Odds are you don’t want it.

Beware of misplaced adjectives. Fresh milk? Tenderized Fruit? International Hot Dog?    Vegetarian Beef?

50’s night is when they have malts and play 80’s music.

40’s night is when the Cafeteria Director brings in all the records that were on the top 10 when she first started working in the cafeteria.

30’s night is when they go to the very back of the freezer and get all the food that says: “best if used by Dec 12, 1939.”

Caution should be used with food that has parts of a foreign language in the title. Make sure you know what those words mean.

Be afraid of anything with the word surprise…as in cheesy chicken surprise. Surprises in food aren’t good. (especially ones that come after you eat it)

CAFETERIA: From 2 Latin words, “cafe” meaning place to eat and “teria” meaning to wretch.

Rolls: Little round thing that taste like what toilet paper comes on.

If it looks gross. IT IS! If it looks good, it most likely isn’t.

If the line is long, it’s probably because people are taking time to ask what the heck they are about to eat. Don’t assume people are going back for seconds.

The majority of people that eat in the cafeteria are freshmen and seniors. Freshmen enjoy the food, and Seniors can’t afford pizza.

All you can eat, contrary to belief isn’t how much you can stuff in before they close.  It’s how little you can eat before you get sick.

Valentines Day is when they decorate the cafeteria really nice in red hearts and roses… And serve the same old food.

Groundhog Day: what kind of meat is that???

I hope that these notes have helped you. Just remember, don’t start a food fight! The food doesn’t need to fly through the air to be dangerous, it’s bad enough on your plate.

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